Sang- 3.1 thousand words
Oh, I'm such a loser, how could I ever lose her?
Oh, maybe I'm crazy
Now I'm a loser, why would I lose her?
I will never recover, I will never be wellme too
Alexia is in bed, the conversation between you just a few hours ago still replaying in her mind. This isn't her first breakup, but for some reason this breaks up with you more deeply than any others she's had to go through.
The way you whisperedI can't do this anymore.as she desperately tries to hold back your tears, tears come to her eyes. Like you before, she tries to avoid them running down her face, but as her mind replays the scene where you pulled away when she tried to touch you, she whispers instead, "Pardon.before he turns to leave her, it's enough to bring tears to your eyes.
“Stupid Alex!the Spanish woman whispers to herself, wiping away her tears quite aggressively, but no matter how often she does so, more and more tears roll down her face.
Finally, the heartbroken woman gives up and just lets the tears run down her face, because it's not like they're going to stop anytime soon as the scene is played over and over without even giving her a chance to calm down. some point. Even if she falls asleep from exhaustion a few hours later, your face and your words are still present in her mind.
Maybe I'm just a little drunk so I don't think about us (Uh)
I don't think about what (Um) we could have been
And I'm awake like three or four nights so I don't wanna dream about us (Uh)
I wake up with no luck (No), I just can'twin
No matter how much Alexia tries to talk you out of it, it doesn't work. If you're not the one breaking up with her in her mind, other moments are shared between the two of you. Every time she made you laugh, the movies and shows you watched and the little trips you took together.
What was new though, or thoughts and dreams of what if? What if you hadn't broken up? Would you be together on one of those trips that you both wanted to go on? Walking the streets of Athens together? Or maybe you decided to go to Paris together? Taking the most common tourist photos with the Eiffel Tower?
But it's not just the short-term "what ifs" that occupy her. What if there's only a little up and down along the way? Wasn't the two of you meant to last forever as she thought at first? Weren't you two supposed to get married sometime? Shouldn't you wear her last name "Putellas" with pride? Shouldn't you be the one she starts a family with?
All these questions run through her head at high speed. And if distraction doesn't work, a little alcohol should do the trick, right? So here he is sitting at home on his couch, with his second bottle of wine half-empty, watching some random TV show. And to be fair, it did help a bit, but only until she finally ended the night and went to sleep, and then she's face to face with your face again, clearly visible in her mind. Sometimes it's just you, but sometimes she sees herself next to you and can do anything if her mind doesn't shut down.
And the only thing that can help prevent it? To stay awake. So instead of getting drunk to sleep, she drinks just enough to calm her mind a bit, but not too much to make her feel sleepy, so she can stay awake as long as possible. One night without sleep turns into two, then three, then four. She even tried to push for a fifth night, but her body can only take so much without sleep, so while she wants to sleep, she does. To dream of the two of you together again only to wake up all alone but still with you in her mind.
I should have seen it all along (Ah-ah)
She was one in a million (Ah-ah)
It hurts when someone says noAnd
Alexia tried not to look at you during practice and pretended you weren't there. And honestly, she's been pretty good at it so far, mostly thanks to the separate group workouts you've been in, but overall soccer has always been Alexia's escape when things in life have been tough.
She is completely focused on the exercise in question until a loud shout distracts her from the ball.
“NO!”.
Pain. A small prick that feels like pain hits the woman's chest as her throat closes slightly. He brings his hand up to his chest to rub where the stabbing pain is coming from, but he won't let go. He knows not to turn around now if that's the reaction to just hearing your name, he doesn't want to know how much worse the pain of seeing you can be. But it's like she can't control her own eyes anymore and before she knows it, she's staring at you.
There you laugh at Jana, who is trying to wipe her face with her exercise shirt after you splashed water on her face. Alexia forgets to breathe for a moment, tears well up in her eyes, the pain in her chest intensifies, but she can't look away. Her eyes focus on your face, the expression you make when you laugh always manages to bring a smile to her face but not now. All he does now is bring her another wave of pain as he reminds the woman of what should have been seen a long time ago.
You are the only one for her.
Oh, I'm such a loser, how could I ever lose her?
Oh, maybe I'm crazy
Now I'm a loser, why would I lose her?
I will never recover, I will never be wellme too
It's been almost two weeks since you broke up with a Catalan woman, Alexia thought it would be better if her heart didn't hurt anymore every time she sees or hears you while exercising, but no. The pain is still there, everyone. single. time.
What if they still are. During the day in thoughts or at night in a dream. Her family noticed the change in the woman, usually they called or texted every day, but now only occasionally does her mind let her think for a while before you take your place again.
Her mother and sister asked questions, went through all the possible things that could lead to their loved one being so distant and distracted all the time. But the answer was always the same"No, it's not.". That is, until they ask if something happened between the two of you, he doesn't answer right away. Should she admit you left her in the dust? Did you leave her forever? What would they say? Would they be disappointed, sad to lose you, since they love you almost as much as she loves you?
With these thoughts, she gently shakes her head and whispers softly:NO”, which she herself cannot even honestly buy. Her mother and sister make eye contact for a moment, disbelieving the woman in front of them, but instead of asking further, they decide to just hug her a little closer.
Uh, maybe just a little too much
When she needed someone (Uh)
By her body (Woah) at 2IS
In the third week, Alexia was trying to figure out what the breaking point in your relationship might have been. The obviousness in the answer plagues Alexia, she is a woman of question, so as one of the most popular women in the football industry, she often has many events to attend.
These events often last into the wee hours of the morning, with alcohol flowing easily throughout the night. I talk to strangers and investors who don't really care about her as a person, only her brand and the face she has become for women's soccer around the world. Is that why she lost you? Because she'd rather waste her time with people who don't even care about her as a person?
When Alexia tries to say how many times she didn't get home until the wee hours of the morning, she sighs. Why didn't she try harder to be with you? Why did she stay there for so long when all the important things always ended much earlier?
She can't imagine how you must have felt whenever you had to go to bed alone and sometimes wake up alone, or spend mornings alone because the alcohol the woman was consuming kept her dying in her sleep until the early noon.
How much she wished she would have done things differently and wished time machines were real and that she could just go back in time and do things the right way for you. Being right next to you when you go to bed, staying close to her all night long until you both have to get up together. Spending all mornings together, making breakfast or just staying a little longer.
But that doesn't happen in life. There's no time machine she can use to go back in time, no. She's here right now, alone, without you by her side.
Yes, and now I'm lying to myself
When she's probably just kidding (probably kidding)
He'll probably call me and we'll be together againI
Refusal. Next time, after the first two weeks of only regret still there and questioning the possible reason why you broke up with her, now is the time to deny it.
Every relationship has its ups and downs, so maybe this is yours? Maybe you didn't mean a complete breakup, but rather a small breakup?
Alexia knows deep down that it isn't, it wasn't just the downfall of your relationship, after all, no relationship has ups and downs anymore. You felt her completely, with no intention of returning. But lying to yourself is much easier than accepting the truth.
So she checks her phone almost every 30 minutes, has her ringer set to full volume, and waits for you to text her or call her to tell her you didn't mean what you said. You were joking or just having a bad day when this whole disaster happened. So it's just a matter of time before you talk to her, it could happen anytime, or would you rather take this walk in person and approach her at your next workout?
It will happen eventually, Alexia repeats in her mind, if not in an hour, then in a day, if not in the next, then in a few days, but it will. You want to reach out and tell her you're okay, you still have a chance to experience all the scenarios her mind plays out on a daily basis. It's not over between you two, it can't be.
But the text or the call never comes, and you don't spend any more time with her in training than you have to. She knew from the beginning that the idea was ridiculous, she knows not only were you joking about the breakup, but damn, she wished you had. So no matter how much she knew how stupid and unrealistic the idea was, she hoped there was at least a chance that it would come true.
I want nothing more than to have you back by her side.
I should have seen it all along (Ah-ah)
She was one in a million (Ah-ah)
Now she's in love and I'm second (DamN)
The denial phase ended pretty quickly, but it finally ended when you posted a picture of Ana and yourself on Instagram. You both smile tenderly at each other and the Swiss puts her arm around you and pulls you closer, much closer than normal friends would be.
It's just a normal picture of two friends, right? There's no way you're moving away from her when she still hung up on you, right?
But the simple heart you used as your caption is enough to let her know that this is no ordinary photo between two friends, and Ana's comment with the heart and heart eyes emoji doesn't help her suspicions either.
She noticed that you two spend more time together. In training, you were always next to each other, doing all the exercises in pairs or just chatting and joking during drink breaks. She didn't mind it too much at first, you did all the exercises with your partners together, so of course you did them with someone else after the breakup, but that photo, the way the two of you almost became inseparable during training, and conversations overheard during training that she deliberately tried to throw out out of her mind, they let her know that whatever it is, it's not just friendship anymore.
The conversations she tried to get out of her head were mostly between you planning to hang out or talking about how fun it was the day before, how excited you both were to try something new around the corner, or how great the movie you saw the other day was night with Ana.
But the most important thing she wished she had never witnessed was something you weren't even a part of. During one of the strength sessions, Aitana approached the Swiss woman and asked her how the "date" you had with her the day before went. Alexia listened to every word Ana said how great it went, how much fun you guys had, how she can't wait for the next one which will be just a few days later, how wonderful you are and how much she likes you and hope she's going somewhere.
So if Alexia was honest with herself, she knew long before you posted the picture that you were moving on. But it was easier to deny it, much, much easier to ignore everything she heard and call the conversation between Ana and Aitana a misunderstanding that you two didn't go on a romantic date, no, it was just hanging out with friends accidentally tagged as a date.
But she couldn't deny it anymore, now there was evidence, not just for her, but for everyone in the world. You went on without her. You're in love with someone else while she's stuck in second place, still struggling to get over the breakup.
Tell me God is real
Do you still think of me?
Or am I living for nothing?
I don't know where it went
Wrong, but I'll take a hint
Needs helpcontact
Alexia knows she has no choice but to keep going. But he's still trying to get used to seeing you and Ana together all the time. She knows that when she's around, you try to keep it as low as you can respect her.
But it also made her wonder if there's still a chance you think of her the way she thinks of you? Or are you just trying not to make things difficult between the two of you? Is that the only time you think about her?
But she never asks you because once again Alexia knows the answer to her own question because the way you look at Ana and Ana at you is the answer there's no way you still have the same feelings for her as her to you.
It hurts to come to terms with it, almost as much as the first day of the breakup, but she'll move on, she'll leave you alone. You're happy, you deserve to be happy, even if he's not with her, she has to accept that. And he wants to move on, but not because he wants to, he doesn't want to give up on you in any way, no. He's doing this because he loves you and you deserve the happiness that Ana gives you, so he'll let you go.
Oh, I'm such a loser, how could I ever lose her?
Oh, maybe I'm crazy
Now I'm a loser (Oh) why would I lose her? (I'll never be)
I'll never get better, I'll never feel right (Oh baby, I)
Because I am Ldare
You're back in bed staring at the ceiling, it's been three months since you two broke up. You flourished with Ana, everyone could tell how good you two were together, how happy and healthy this relationship was. Alexia, on the other hand, can't say the same. A woman has tried so hard to move on, but every time she tries to get to know someone, she compares them to you, and no one can ever match you to her. You were the one in a million to her, and she lost you.
You happily go on with your life while she's stuck where you left her. Alexia feels lost, defeated. Even with all the trophies in her apartment proving this woman's success, she can't help but feel like a loser. How did she manage to win so many trophies but lose the personality that was made for her?
“Why am I a loser?Alexia asks herself as tears stream down her face again.